Off The Markley

Redeye Blogs

Was That the Worst Dunk Contest Ever?

I’ve been watching the NBA Slam-Dunk Contest for about two decades now, and I think Saturday’s dunk contest may rank as my absolute least favorite. I have several beefs with the NBA’s execution of this year’s event, which I will now air loudly and publicly. Beginning with: why the hell am I watching Jeremy Evans,… Continue reading ‘Was That the Worst Dunk Contest Ever?’

She’s the Next Michael Jordan

                        I recently learned that my good friend “Joe” will soon be a father of a baby girl. I immediately began devising the social science experiment we will perform to turn his little girl into a WNBA superstar. A little context: Joe and I… Continue reading ‘She’s the Next Michael Jordan’

‘Moneyball’ More Interesting Than Actual Baseball

Let me start by saying this: I’m a sucker for sports movies. Doesn’t matter which sport. Even if it’s a sport I would never watch under any circumstances, “Cool Runnings” about the Jamaican bobsled team was awesome and still makes me well with happiness every time I watch it. If you’re a hyper-masculine guy bent… Continue reading ‘‘Moneyball’ More Interesting Than Actual Baseball’

Got Myself a Nasty Case of Linsanity

Symptoms include long, blinkless periods and sudden hitches of breath as the undrafted former Harvard star(ish) breaks for the basket, spinning, weaving, somehow getting by a sea of guys who, with their arms outstretched, measure around nine feet. I will now be hash-tagging my entire life with #Linsanity. It took New York Knicks point Jeremy… Continue reading ‘Got Myself a Nasty Case of Linsanity’

NBA Season Has Me Feeling Like Third-Grader

  Maybe it was because I begged. I was so sure that this year’s NBA season was a lost cause that when the news was announced that a tentative agreement between the players and owners had been reached, I let out the kind of squeal usually reserved for 12-year-old daddy’s girls who’ve just gotten a… Continue reading ‘NBA Season Has Me Feeling Like Third-Grader’

I Just Became a Huge Dallas Mavericks Fan

I hate being right all the time. Does it get as old for the rest of you as it does for me? The Heat would stampede past the Bulls to the NBA Finals. George W. Bush would be a terrible President. It was a bad idea to let Charlie Sheen try cocaine. I should not… Continue reading ‘I Just Became a Huge Dallas Mavericks Fan’

Best NBA Playoff Picture, MVP Race in Years

I’m now one of those idiotic people who is trying to live without a TV or cable. This is obviously the way to do it now with Hulu and Netflix and illegal downloads omnipresent, but the one problem is sports, which I’m learning as the NBA season winds up. Without a doubt, this is a… Continue reading ‘Best NBA Playoff Picture, MVP Race in Years’