Photo credit: Elsa/Getty Images No one should be a sports fan. Seriously, what’s the point? It doesn’t matter how good your team is or how many championships they win, you’re still never happy. Case in point: Chicago fans, who got to watch the greatest basketball player of all time win them six champions but who… Continue reading ‘Oh, That’s Right, I’m a Cavs Fan’
In the previous post (“How I Killed Journalism” 5/29/09) I incorrectly stated that you have to cross the Chicago River to get from the Trib building to the Sun-Times. In fact, you do not. Otherwise, that post was a flawlessly argued, singular piece of brilliance.
Photo credit: Tasos Katopodis/ Getty Images News Everyone is freaking out about how to save the failing newspaper industry, and while I admire the efforts to save such staples of print journalism as the Boston Globe, my own Chicago Tribune and our cross-the-river rival, the Chicago Sun-Times these attempts will likely lead to the same conclusion… Continue reading ‘How I Killed Journalism’
Photo credit: Netflix There have been three inventions that have changed the course of human history: The wheel, the internal combustion engine and Netflix. Netflix is not awesome. “Awesome” is a word reserved for pedestrian trifles like getting paid a million dollars to make out with Jessica Biel while setting fire to random household objects.… Continue reading ‘Netflix Rocks’
Photo credit: Warner Bros. Pictures As a child who considered “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” to be one of the greatest films ever made — making those hacks Bergman, Kurosawa and Coppola look like children running around in the backyard with their parents’ camcorders — I was pretty disappointed by the new addition to the series,… Continue reading ‘‘Terminator’: Worst Ruthless Killing Machine Ever’
Photo credit: Junko Kimura/ Getty Images Entertainment Guys, let me know if this sounds familiar: I get up in the morning and spend ten minutes showering, only to take an additional five minutes rubbing goop around in my hair to make it look as if I didn’t take that shower. I also shave with clippers… Continue reading ‘Oh, I Pretty Much Just Roll Out of Bed…’
Photo credit: JPMorganChase Seriously, what was your time for this Chase Corporate Challenge 5k? I only ask because I want mine to be better. But also, didn’t you think it was a bit strange that pretty much the last stable bank in the country was sponsoring this huge competitive event with runners participating from companies… Continue reading ‘What Was Your Time on the Chase Corporate Challenge Run?’
Photo credit: Alex Wong/ Getty Images News Who would have thought that moving 200-plus detainees from Cuba would be like The Biggest Deal Ever? Of course, it seems like pretty much everything President Barack Obama does is the The Biggest Deal Ever because it smacks of having had too many people “think” about it. As… Continue reading ‘Guantánamo Detainees Can Crash at My Place’
Photo credit: David McNew/ Getty Images News I mean, good God, isn’t spam e-mail the weirdest thing? Take this recent e-mail I found in my inbox. Normally, I just delete spam without opening it, but this one was from “Jesse,” and I figured it was possible I could be contacted by a person named Jesse… Continue reading ‘Spam E-Mail Too Weird Not to Share’
Photo credit: Scott Olson/Getty Images News I love this city, I do, but waiting for summer is like waiting for some kind of literary figure in a play, who’s supposed to be there but never shows up, so the characters just stand around BSing for the whole show (someone should totally write a play like… Continue reading ‘Yes — Wait, No — OK, Yes! It’s Finally Summer in Chicago’