Let me start by saying this: I’m a sucker for sports movies. Doesn’t matter which sport. Even if it’s a sport I would never watch under any circumstances, “Cool Runnings” about the Jamaican bobsled team was awesome and still makes me well with happiness every time I watch it. If you’re a hyper-masculine guy bent… Continue reading ‘‘Moneyball’ More Interesting Than Actual Baseball’
Symptoms include long, blinkless periods and sudden hitches of breath as the undrafted former Harvard star(ish) breaks for the basket, spinning, weaving, somehow getting by a sea of guys who, with their arms outstretched, measure around nine feet. I will now be hash-tagging my entire life with #Linsanity. It took New York Knicks point Jeremy… Continue reading ‘Got Myself a Nasty Case of Linsanity’
Here I am reporting to you from what I guess must be the Fifteenth Century, where apparently a mysoginistic cabal of old white men in the Vatican can tell American women that they must allow every sperm a chance to conceive in their womb. Obama caved and whatev–he let the baby have its bottle, I… Continue reading ‘A Long, Red-Faced Rant on This Contraception Horseshit’
I keep hearing dirty, salacious rumors that Bruce Springsteen is going to play Wrigley Field this summer for his “Wrecking Ball” tour. First of all, I don’t know where these rumors originated, and second, don’t you tease me. If this is happening, I need to know the nanosecond tickets go on sale. Because he didn’t… Continue reading ‘So Is Springsteen Playing Wrigley or What?’
Normally, I don’t like to just link to any errant thing out on the web, but my friend Bojo sent this story to me, and it was too funny to not share with the other three to five “Off the Markley” readers. Apparently Louisiana Republican congressman John Fleming thought an Onion article titled “Planned Parenthood… Continue reading ‘Congressman Thinks Onion Abortionplex Real’
During halftime of the Superbowl, Chrysler ran the above ad featuring a guttural Clint Eastwood talking in the shadows about Detroit’s comeback and “halftime in America.” It’s a pretty effective piece of marketing, but I wonder if the legendary actor and director, who was once rumored as a possible running mate for George H.W. Bush… Continue reading ‘Clint Eastwood’s Superbowl Ad for Obama’
The San Francisco International airport recently built a “yoga room,” where itinerant travelers can get a few down-dogs in before catching a flight. The unintended consequence of this may be a precipitous increase in attempts to join the “mile-high club.” Allow me to explain. Yoga, for better or worse, is taking over the world. A… Continue reading ‘Does This Pose Make You Randy?’
Now let me admit something up front: I majored in English, History and jerked around frequently enough to only get a minor in Political Science. I’m not an expert, but I do have basic cognitive abilities, and these cognitive abilities tell me that this Facebook initial public offering is totally absurd. Facebook is looking for… Continue reading ‘Facebook’s IPO Reeks of Bullshit’
Mitt Romney’s hand-delivered bitch-slap to Newt Gingrich in Florida probably means he (Mitt) is out of the woods in terms of the Republican nomination. Any serious challenge by Rick Santorum or Ron Paul remains highly unlikely, and Newt’s win in South Carolina remains the outlier of his state-by-state performances. Nevertheless, I really like Newt Gingrich… Continue reading ‘Please, Newt Gingrich, Don’t Go Away’
Ever since Marc Maron rebooted his career with his podcast WTF, comedians have been flocking to the format, and every time I listen to one of these long, meandering conversations between generally funny people, I grow jealous. After all my scintilla of faux-fame has netted me many interviews but usually it’s either in writing (which… Continue reading ‘Ultimate Markley Interview Now Available’