Geek To Me

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Geekin’ Out Wrestling: Cuttin’ Loose with Colt Cabana

Posted at 10:45 p.m. – Tuesday, June 23

If you ask me, pro wrestlers are a special breed of people. They put their bodies on the line each night, enduring countless injuries performing for the sake of entertaining their fans.  Chicago can lay claim to a few stars of its own, among them Scott Colton AKA Colt Cabana.  Scott is currently plying his trade in the Ring of Honor wrestling promotion after a stint in the WWE.  While preparing for his Chicago Street Fight this weekend at the next ROH event, Scott took some time to talk about his career, his faith, what it was like to work in the WWE and what he looks for in a tag-team partner:

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Geek To Me: So Scott, where are you from?

Scott Colton: Well Elliott, unlike you, I'm not from some crazy mythological planet.  I'm from Deerfield!  Currently I have a place in Wicker Park.  Well…I guess, Wicker Park is kinda like some crazy alien nation.  There's so many different types of eclectic people roaming around.  In a great way.  So it's kinda like some crazy awesome planet for the awesome…and crazy.

G2M: Does your faith/heritage have any influence on your work?

SC: I'm of the Jewish faith.  I'm Jewish.  I'm a Jew.  OY!  In the WWE I wrestled as Scotty Goldman.  Very jewey.  So that was influenced heavily by my faith and heritage.  Unless Vince McMahon thought Goldman was of the scientology faith…but I got a feeling he knew it was Jewish.  As a performer and an entertainer, I love using my Jewish humor and comedy in my wrestling.  By Jewish humor I mean more Spaceballs and less Caddyshack 2.

G2M: You go by the alias 'Colt Cabana,' can you tell us where that name came from?

SC: My last name is Colton.  Shhhhhh.  Don't tell anyone.  That's where the Colt comes from.  I always wanted part of my name to be in my wrestling name, hence the "Colt".  Picking a last name was hard.  I went through a list of them including McCullah, Nevada, Brooks and Hogan (ok maybe not).  Eventually I was thinking of the Barry Manilow Song, Copa Cabana.  It seemed to be a natural fit and COLT CABANA was born.  That was over ten years ago.

G2M: Can you give me a wrestling moniker?

SC: A nickname…huh.  How bout Nerd Eye Blind? No wait, ES Dorkenhiemer!  Or maybe the Iron Geek!  The Iron Geek sounds good.  IRAN number 1.  USA number Zero, Hacccchhh Tooooeeey.

G2M:  Awesome!  I'm going to make that my new Twitter handle!  When did you decide you wanted to be a pro wrestler?

SC: I've wanted to be a pro wrestler forever!  I literally popped out, slapped my doctor in the face and strutted around the room.  At least that's how I can only assume it went, right?  Since I was a little kid I've wanted to be a pro wrestler.  I was about three or four when I started watching.  In Jr High School, I used to research different wrestling schools that I could go to when I grew up. 

G2M: What does your family think about your chosen career path?

SC: My parents are cool with it.  My mom always supported me fully, but definitely wanted me to do something with more security and some kind of 401K or something.  My dad's just happy with whatever I want to do.

G2M:  Any other career choices you wish you had made?

SC: Well…I did actually go to college and got a degree in Business Marketing at Western Michigan University.  That being said, I really didn't have any desire in getting any kind of 9 to 5 as my desire to sleep until noon is way too great.  I would like to, along with my wrestling career, enter a different kind of entertainment.  I'd love to do some comedic acting and maybe some commercials.  I think I'd be a natural at that stuff as a lot of my wrestling persona was really built with my strong ability to cut promos and talk on the fly.

G2M: What did you think of Mickey Rourke's performance in The Wrestler?  On the mark or total fail?

SC: That movie was boss.  I'm not really trying to bring back the word "boss", but it was used because Springstein sang the main song for the movie.  Maybe I should bring back "boss", and rad.  I've been thinking about bringing back "raising the roof" too.  "Raising the roof" catches a bad rap in my book.  Mickey definitely hit it on the head.  The company I work for right now, ROH, was a huge part in that movie.  The Necro Butcher is a big star in ROH and he was the guy staple gunning Mickey.  ROH was also where Mickey wrestled at the end.  So the movie parallels the real life underground wrestling circuit, legitimately.  They didn't even make up wrestlers or promotions, they used the real thing.

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G2M: What's the weirdest thing you've ever had to do in a match?

SC: I once lost to a Little Person in front of 10,000 people in Indianapolis.  I did it with pride and a huge smile on my face.  Me and CM Punk also once raffled off a lap dance for one lucky woman.  I think we hit her from each side while Whodini's Freaks Come Out At Night blasted on the speakers.

G2M:  Most painful experience?

Mentally it would probably be being fired by WWE.  I'd never been fired from anywhere…ever.  I've had some random jobs including teaching, counseling and selling lemonade on North Beach, but I've never been fired.  In terms of physical pain…I've torn both AC joints in both shoulders.  I've torn my quad.  I've torn my MCL.  I've broke my nose, broke fingers, chipped teeth, broke a cheek bone and so on…and so forth.

G2M: You were once part of the WWE roster, what was that like?

SC: It was pretty sweet while I was there.  I was most
proud of the internet show that WWE gave me on WWE.com.  I originally named it, "What's Crackin with Scotty Goldman".  The "man" later renamed it "Good as Goldman".  They're floating around on youtube.  Doing that was a blast.  I got to come up with my own stuff and have fun while becoming a cult star on the internet just like the dude with the tight crotched Tron outfit and the guy who cried "It's still real to me!". 

G2M: Is Vince McMahon as tough a boss as he appears to be?

SC: I went into his office to have a talk and I almost shat myself.  He's an intimidating dude.  At the end of the day though, everybody's just a person, right?  He's takes poops just like you and I.  His probably smell worse though because of all the protein and supplements he takes.  He's like 62 and jacked.  Definitely in better shape than me, and I work out all the time.

G2M: Honestly, are those chair shots really all that bad?

SC: Yeah man.  Having someone swing a chair at you hurts no matter what.  If I'm wrestling someone and I'm gonna hit them with a chair, if I don't do it, the fans can tell and will call you out on it.  People come to the shows to believe and get sucked into this crazy world of pro wrestling.  If you don't crack someone good, the fans know and then you're not doing your job correctly.

G2M: What advice do you have for all those kids who are thinking about becoming pro-wrestlers.

SC: You have to be tough.  You have to heart and a desire to do this.  If you don't, wrestling will eat you alive and spit you out.  Kind of like that giant plant from Little Shop of Horrors.  The key is to go to a school and learn from the best.  Wrestling schools are just like trade schools.  It's like ITT Tech but sweeter.  ROH has a great school in Philadelphia.  That's in Philadelphia though.

G2M: You've got a street fight match coming up this month at "Ring of Honor", tell us more about it.

SC: Ever since I came back to ROH, there's a group called the Embassy led by Prince Nana who's kinda been on my case the whole time.  Nana just came back to the company himself, along with former TNA star Jimmy Rave.  I guess they both don't like that I've taken their spotlight.  Things have gone down, things have broken down, and basically it can only be settled one way.  Chicago street Fight baby!  Come live, it should be nuts.  I'm gonna bring some dudes with me and we're gonna take on the Embassy full fledged!

G2M: Need a tag-team partner?  Hey, you just gave me a new moniker, why not ME?

SC: Colt "Boom Boom" Cabana and The Iron Geek…together?!?!  This could be history.  Pros:  You seem nice.  Cons: You seem nice, Being good at THQ's SmackDown v. Raw 2009 won't actually help you in the ring, reading and writing comic books don't ACTUALLY give you comic book hero strengths.  Cons are outweighing the Pros…but I'll think about it.

G2M: I'll be waiting by my phone!

Check out Colt Cabana in his Chicago Street Fight this weekend, Saturday June 27th at the Frontier Fieldhouse in Chicago Ridge.  Also, get a chance to meet the legendary "Nature Boy" Ric Flair!  Visit the Ring of Honor website for information and to purchase tickets!

You can also check out Scott's MySpace page at myspace/coltcabana where he has t-shirts and DVDs for sale.  COOL SWAG!

Thanks to Scott Colton for his time, humor and generosity, and a special thanks to Marc Kruskol of MJK Public Relations for setting up the interview.